How to Cope With Holiday Season Stress
 

This blogpost is a classic and its advice and tips are still as relevant today as it was when I originally posted it. Please do enjoy and try some of the tips!

The holiday season is upon us—this whirlwind of gift-giving celebrations, holiday parties, the strain to ‘be cheery and joyful’ at all times, and abundant activities that begin right after Halloween, develop into Thanksgiving and continue to gain momentum until Old Man Time arrives.

While this season is meant to bring feelings of love and cheer, it’s also the harbinger of holiday tension and in others it may even command feelings closer to the Grinch than that of Cindy Lou. With whatever stress the holidays bring to add to the things that we already have on our plates. In a poll conducted by www.verywellmind.com, “more than 80% of us find the holiday season to be ‘somewhat’ or ‘very’ stressful—that ranks navigating the holiday’s right up there with asking for a raise!”(Scott)

Mindfulness is Key!

To help make the most of your festivities, Neda Gould, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and director of the Johns Hopkins Mindfulness Program at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, shares some mindful tips. “What is mindfulness? “Mindfulness is bringing your attention to the present moment with an element of nonjudgment and acceptance. It is noticing when we get caught up in thoughts about the past or the future, and returning our attention to the present — the only reality,” explains Gould.” (“4 Mindful Tips to De-Stress This Holiday Season”).

While mindfulness can be a formal meditation practice, there are also informal ways to practice this skill. This can give us perspective and decrease stress. Think about the kinds of events that trigger stress for you during the holidays. Then you can focus on one or two things you can do that will help the most to reduce stress.

Here are some tips to Decrease Holiday Stress:
 

Breathe
 

This sounds like a no-brainer, but sometimes we forget to take deep breaths and really give our bodies the oxygen we need. It's great if you can take ten minutes by yourself to do a breathing meditation, but merely stopping to take a few deep, cleansing breaths can reduce your level of negative stress in a matter of minutes, too. If you visualize that you are breathing in serenity and breathing out stress, you will find the positive effects of this exercise to be even more pronounced.

Preparing for the holidays
 

Before you start preparing, acknowledge that things may not go exactly as planned. It is okay if it is not perfect. Imperfection is healthy and normal!

• Know your spending limit. Lack of money is one of the biggest causes of stress during the holiday season. This year, set a budget. Do not spend more than you've planned; it is okay to tell your child that a certain item costs too much.
• Give something personal. You can show love and caring with any gift that is meaningful and personal and it doesn't have to cost a lot. Another option is to use words instead of a posh gift to let people know how important they are to you; make a phone call, FaceTime or write a note to share your feelings.
• Get organized. Make lists or use an appointment book or phone calendar to keep track of tasks/ errands and events to attend.
• Share the tasks. You don't have to do everything yourself! Share your "to do" list with others. Spend time with friends and family while you share tasks like decorating, wrapping gifts, errands, and preparing the holiday meal.
• Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. It's okay to say that really big scary word –‘NO’, to events that aren't important to you. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can't participate in every project or activity. This will give you more time to say ‘YES’ to events that you do want to attend. (Healthwise Staff)
•  Accept Imperfection. Try not to put pressure on yourself to create the perfect holiday for your family. Focus instead on the traditions that make holidays special for you. “As we gear up for the holidays, we often set the bar impossibly high for ourselves and then feel upset when our celebrations don’t live up to expectations” (“4 Mindful Tips to De-Stress This Holiday Season”).
  • And remember that just because it's a holiday, family problems don't go away. If you have a hard time being around your relatives, it's okay to set limits on your time at events and visits.
• Don’t Lose Sight of What Really Counts. With long lines and nasty traffic, the holidays can get hectic. When overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle, ask yourself:
  • Where does this fit in the grand scheme of things? If you’re frustrated by the long grocery line you’re standing in, remember that it is just a long grocery line — nothing more. Don’t let it spoil your afternoon.
  • Can I use this moment of frustration as an opportunity to reflect? While the cashier rings up the customers ahead of you, take inventory of the good things that have happened today or the things you are grateful for.
  • Even if this moment seems stressful, can I find a way to make it pleasant? Connect with someone else in line with a compliment or kind gesture, or notice what’s around you with fresh eyes and an open mind.
     

During the holidays
 

You may not be able to avoid stressful situations during the holidays. But you can plan to respond to them in a healthy way.

• Doing Too Much. “All things in moderation”, motto goes all too well with this time of the year. The difficulty with the holiday season is that we often experience ‘overegging the pudding’ so to speak. While stress itself is necessary for our survival and zest for life (researchers call this positive type of stress "eustress"), excess stress has a negative impact on our health, both mental and physical. Too many activities, even if they are fun activities, can culminate in too much holiday stress and leave us feeling frazzled, rather than fulfilled (Scott).
  • Respond with Kindness. You can’t change how others act during the stresses of the holiday season, but you can change how you respond to situations:
    • “Whenever I encounter a difficult person, I tell myself, ‘this person is suffering, and that’s why they’re acting this way.’ It softens my frustration, helps me be more compassionate and reminds me that it’s not personal,” says Gould.
  • Keep in mind that the holidays are especially difficult for those who are alone. See if you can extend an act of kindness to those you know are without family and friends during this time of year.
  • If things do get tense with someone, take a few deep breaths. “Those few breaths can shift things and give you new perspective,” says Gould.
• Take breaks from group activities/ the togetherness. The holidays are a time when extended families tend to gather. While this can be a wonderful thing, even the most close-knit families can overdose on togetherness, making it hard for family members to maintain a healthy balance between bonding and alone time.
  • Many families also have roles that each member falls into that have more to do with who individuals used to be rather than who they are today, which can sometimes bring more dread than love to these gatherings.
  • Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm. Meditate, or do some relaxation breathing. Go for a short walk.
• Not enough togetherness- This can be a tough time for many people, especially those who have lost partners or parents, as it reminds them of their loneliness. As the world seems to be gathering with family, those who rely more on friends for support can feel deserted and alone. Reach out if you are feeling lonely or isolated seek out friends, community, religious or other social events or groups. Many may have websites, online support groups, social media sites or virtual events, they can offer support and companionship.
  • Volunteering your time or doing something to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships. For example, consider dropping off a meal and dessert at a friend's home during the holidays.
  • Keep a regular sleep, meal, and exercise schedule. Limit your alcohol. Taking care of yourself will help you deal with stressful situations during the holidays. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt.

Try these suggestions:
 

• Have a healthy snack before holiday meals so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks.
• Eat healthy meals.
• Get plenty of sleep.
• Include regular physical activity in your daily routine.
• Try deep-breathing exercises, meditation or yoga.
• Avoid excessive tobacco, alcohol and drug use.
• Be aware of how information culture can produce undue stress, and adjust the time you spend reading news and social media as you see fit.
   
• Get support if you need it. Holidays can sometimes trigger depression. They can be especially hard if you are already dealing with the death of a loved one or the breakup of a relationship. You may feel embarrassed to ask for help, or you may think that you'll get over "the blues" on your own. But most people need treatment to get better. Talk with your doctor about counseling and medicine for depression (Healthwise Staff).
   
• Rethink Your Resolutions. “Typical New Year’s resolutions set you up for failure,” warns Gould. If you want to better yourself in the New Year, follow these tips for success:
  • Start small. Break your goal into tinier steps over the course of the year. If weight loss is your goal, it doesn’t have to be drastic. Try to eat more veggies during your first month and gradually cut back on sweets throughout the next, suggests Gould.
  • Be kind to yourself. If you didn’t achieve last year’s resolution or stray from the path this time around, let it go. “We often contrive these stories (‘I’m never going to quit smoking!’) that only add to our distress,” says Gould. “With practice, we can notice this self-critic, let go of that negativity and pick our goals back up without the guilt or shame.”

Well there ya have it folks, an arsenal of tips and suggestions that should help you have a great holiday season and reduce your stress levels! Make your holidays work for you! As always, bring up this topic in your next session and lets balance your body and mind.