Let It Be!
Do you find yourself getting more involved in other people's lives and problems more than think you know you should?
Are you finding that a lot of your energy is going to worrying about problems that others are going through?
Do you feel like you are often trying to untie knots and problems others have created?
It Is Time To Let It Be!
It's not uncommon for my clients to express to me how overwhelmed and stressed they are about certain things in their lives that they are trying to control, especially tied to other people. So here are some reminders that are good reminders for us all!
Be A Cheerleader
When feeling tossed around and stressed by the drama in other people's problems, including our relatives, kids, spouses, etc., it may be time to transform yourself from trying to fight their battles and become a cheerleader on the sidelines for them.
Being a cheerleader and positive influence for others requires way less energy and stress, while still keeping accountability for problems squarely where it belongs with the other person. This is especially challenging for parents who obviously care deeply about their kids but have developed a pattern of doing more for them than they are doing for themselves. Good parenting, friendship, and relationships do not require you to do the bulk of the heavy lifting for someone else.
Cheer people on and let them learn the life lessons that are squarely upon them. Cracking open a chick's egg before they are strong enough to crack through themselves only sets them up to be weak and underprepared for the challenges that life if bringing next.
Grant Others Their Journeys
If we have chatted about this topic during a session, you may be familiar with the train metaphor that I often use. For those of us who feel like we are giving too much of ourselves to others and not enough to ourselves, imagine we are all trains on our own private set of tracks.
Grant others their journeys on their own tracks. Your track may be parallel to theirs at the moment but that does not mean that your tracks will not diverge. Any energy trying to follow their tracks as they veer off into the woods is wasted.
Step back and allow other people their own journeys while remembering that you have your own journey ahead of you. Tracks often weave in and out of being parallel throughout our lives. By focusing on your own journey and granting others theirs, you can ensure that you are making forward progress. If your tracks end up parallel again or not, you will be a happier and healthier person.
Letting Go and Letting Be
Taking on other people's problems and trying to solve their issues is exhausting. Work toward letting go and letting it be. This does not mean that you do not care about the other person, remember the cheerleader section above, it means that you value your energy and your life the most. You are the only you and you should be the most important person in your life upon this Earth. If you stress out, wear yourself down and fall apart, then your quality and length of life will suffer.
How many times do we stress out for others when they have not even asked us for their opinions, support, or solutions?
Conversely, how many times do other people insist on leaning on us and our kindness when they are completely causing their own dramas and problems AND are the only ones who can actually get themselves out of their bad situations?
Practice the Laws of Detachment
- Allow others to be who they are.
- Allow yourself to be who you are.
- Don't force situations.
- Solutions will emerge.
- Uncertainty is reality.
- Embrace it.
The art of detachment is recognizing that nothing belongs to me; it is all an experience. This warrants its own future blog, so stay tuned. By letting things be you will keep your energy where it belongs and can enjoy life, now, today, here in the present!
