Let Your Body Know It Is Safe
Fear is a powerful emotion and it is usually accompanied by the release of powerful chemicals which prod our bodies into reacting and getting to safety. This mechanism was especially useful and important to our caveman predecessors who lived in a world full of immediate physical challenges and threats. These chemicals and our reactions to them were especially important when say a saber-toothed tiger was stalking us or attacking our family group.
As the centuries passed, we humans became better at controlling our environment and diminishing the threats to our lives and wellbeing. Even though the threats to our physical existence decreased, the mechanisms that helped our ancestors survive are still hardwired into us.
We now live in a modern society and a world where fears and anxieties are mostly tied to non-physical threats to our wellbeing and health. Our brains react and activate chemicals being dumped into our tissues just the same. Car accidents or near accidents, confrontations with strangers while walking the streets, dogs popping out of nowhere to bark at us, threats of financial ruin or job loss, and negative interpersonal relationships can all trigger the same response and chemicals being released as a saber-toothed tiger jumping out would do.
Anxiety
DIRECT, a center for child development, concisely explains why we experience anxiety:
Anxiety happens when a part of the brain, the amygdala, senses trouble. When it senses threat, real or imagined, it surges the body with hormones (including cortisol, the stress hormone) and adrenaline to make the body strong, fast and powerful. This is the fight or flight response and it has been keeping us alive for thousands of years. It’s what strong, healthy brains are meant to do.
An anxious brain is a strong, healthy brain that is a little overprotective. It is more likely to sense a threat and hit the panic button ‘just in case.’ One of the awful things about anxiety is the way it launches without warning, and often without need, sending an unsuspecting body unnecessarily into fight or flight. For children with anxiety, any situation that is new, unfamiliar, difficult or stressful counts as a potential threat. The fight or flight response happens automatically and instantaneously, sending neurochemicals surging through their bodies, priming them for fight or flight.
Many of us have been experiencing anxiety since we were children and those patterns can continue if we do not update our bodies and brains and let them know that we are safe. Overprotective brains are a lot like overprotective parents, at some point we all have to step away from the overprotection and function on our own. It is healthier to live with less anxiety whenever possible.
Fear Mongering
Another challenge we face by living in a modern society is fear mongering. Media, including social media, thrives off of inciting fear. ABCNews has an interesting article called “The ‘Fear Industrial Complex’” which explains why we as consumers of news are constantly being incited to fear. It states:
From the faces of missing children on posters that cry "Have You Seen Me?" to public service announcements about cancer and other illnesses; from the terrorist attacks splashed across daily headlines to the reports of mad cow disease and avian flu on nightly newscasts, the media provide the public with no shortage of things to fear. The message is clear: The world is a scary place, and you should be worried.
A Time magazine cover in April 2006 said it outright: "Be Worried. Be Very Worried." The media aren't the only purveyors of fear, however.
"I think there is a fear industrial complex," said Barry Glassner, author of "The Culture of Fear: Why Americans Are Afraid of the Wrong Things." He said the fear industrial complex is composed of politicians, activist groups and corporations that all sell us on the idea that they can provide safety from the very dangers they are scaring us about.
We at ABC are as guilty as any other media outlet of rushing out to cover every new threat that arises. And the reason we scare people is simple:
"Fear gets your eyeballs," said. Dr. Edward Hallowell, for broadcast media, eyeballs equal ratings. For politicians, eyeballs equal votes. For activists, eyeballs equal support for their causes. For corporations, eyeballs equal sales. The bottom line: Worry and fear sell.
"Whenever somebody's trying to scare us, the question to ask is 'Are they benefiting from it, and in what way?'" said Glassner. "If they're selling us a product, if they're selling us their political campaign or their cause or whatever it is, we should ask how big is the danger, really? Is it big, is it small, or is it just that they stand to benefit by making us scared?"
In the case of the media, they provide plenty to worry about, like shark attacks being on the rise, killer bees attacking, flesh-eating bacteria and countless other threats. But they are rarely reported with any real perspective on the actual risk involved. Suddenly, the public starts to panic over something that poses minimal risk at most.
"We often worry about things that … are not very dangerous, but which seem it. And the reason they seem it is because of … the media who show images and tell stories about terrible, terrible things that happen," said Stephen Dubner, co-author of "Freakonomics." "People see those things and they think that they are the norm, and in fact, they are a great exception."
Take shark attacks, a summer favorite for the media back in 2001. Dubner said shark attacks are a great example of a source of worry, having been the cause of only 100 fatalities worldwide in the last 15 years.
"Yet, when there's one shark attack in Florida one summer, and it becomes the big news story in the slow summer on network news," he said, "think of the millions and millions of people who won't go in the water for days, weeks, months, years."
Certainly shark attacks happen, but, he said, "You're much more likely to be killed … walking in your backyard and hitting a rake and having it hit you in the head and fall into a lawn mower than a shark attack."
Ultimately, Glassner said that the messages that cause us to worry so much are a far cry from the truth. "We live in about the safest place, about the safest times in human history, and yet we're terrified of everything."
"For all of us to worry about everything is a gigantic waste of time," said Dubner, and Hallowell added that there are far more constructive things to worry about and far less consuming ways to do it.
"You should worry about whatever is causing you a problem … whatever it is that happens to be in your life worth worrying about, like a mole on your forearm, like a debt that continues to rise."
Marc Siegel, author of "False Alarm: The Truth about the Epidemic of Fear," has similar advice about worrying.
"Our message isn't, 'Don't worry about anything,'" he said. "Our message is, 'Worry about the right things. Worry about things that can really harm your health."
Our society can surround us with fear if we are not careful with what we watch and what we believe. Those fears can cause stress and chronic illness from living in constant hyped up energy. The chemicals that surge through us and seep into us from stress and fear can get locked into our physical tissues if we do not process them out. Our tissues can suffer over time if we do not reassure and inform them that they are safe, clear those things out and watch your health increase and improve immediately.
Breathe
One great way to let your body know that it is safe is to breathe like it is safe. Your breathing is a great physical queue to your whole being on what you are actually experiencing. Let’s say you come across a saber-toothed tiger and need to run away or react quickly. In this case your breathing should quicken, your adrenaline should pump, and you should be able to make split second decisions which could save your life. Once that threat is gone and you have reached safety, your breathing slows down and goes back to a more calm state. This queue let’s your brain and body know that it is okay to relax and that the threat is subsided.
In the modern world it is not as easy for our brains and bodies to know what is or isn’t a threat. Imagine you are arriving to take an important entrance exam which could determine the college you attend, the program you will be admitted into, and essentially what career path you will be starting. That is a lot of pressure! Most of us would feel a lot of anxiety and would not be feeling very thrilled about taking this test. Our brains and bodies react to these situations the same way that they do to saber-toothed tigers entering our path. Chemicals are released into our bloodstream, our heartbeat quickens, our breathing increases and can become shallow, adrenaline is released, and our overall anxiety increases.
One of the best things you can do in this situation to diminish your test anxiety is to breathe like you are in a relaxed place. Force yourself to take deep breaths over and over again. This works remarkably well at letting your brain and body know your life isn’t actually being threatened because if there is an actual physical threat, you wouldn’t be able to breathe deeply and calmly. By adjusting your breathing pattern, you get your brain and body to stop releasing stress chemicals and allow yourself and your tissues to relax more.
This is why when something traumatic happens, people often say just breathe, just breathe. Your breath is the key to calming and soothing yourself. Conversely if you want to get amped up for the big game or something important you can listen to music and dance around in order to get your body to realize that it needs to get ready for being active and moving quickly. This is why sportsmen, athletes, professional fighters, and especially runners try to amp themselves up before competing. Your breath is your friend. It is physiologically impossible for your body to stay in a hyped up state when your breathing is deep and calm.
Tips for Connecting Into Your Body and Letting It Know It’s Safe
- First, hug your heart or put one hand on your chest and one on your belly.
- Second, say “Hello body! How’s it going?”
- Third, listen for a response and breathe deeply and calmly while you wait. You can share why you’re emotionally heightened/anxious/stressed and then listen to what your body’s side of the story is. You can also put eyes on the body part or organ that is getting your attention. Imagine that body part is a muppet. What eyes does it have? Are they happy/angry/confused/wide open/half closed/ or any other variation? Acknowledge them and feel what emotion is underneath them. Sometimes the emotion will match the eyes and sometimes it will be completely different.
- Next, mirror and match the emotion that the organ or body part is exhibiting. Essentially imagine holding a mirror in front of it. You want the organ or body part to know that you see it and are aware of what it is experiencing.
- Then, stay with it until it neutralizes. This means hold your attention mirroring until that emotion dissolves/neutralizes or changes to a different emotion. If it changes to a different emotion, follow the same mirroring steps until it is neutral. Repeat as much as needed.
- Finally, once it is neutral the emotional tag is gone and you can have a productive conversation with that organ, tissue, or body part. This is where you can verify with your parts that they got the memo from the brain that they are safe.
- Repeat these steps if any body parts still feel like they did not get the memo.
Keep in mind your body can sometimes operate like a corporation and your brain is the CEO. Check out our blog all about it called, “Your Body's CEO and Your Corporate Meetings!”
